Things Seen Cannot Be Unseen

Jen and I had a new experience last night.  We went to the Roller Derby.  That's right, there was a roller derby right here in the John.  The Energetic City Roller Derby Association put on the Rink Rash Bash.  This was their first event and our first roller derby, so we were all trying something new.

There were was a decent crowd there and it only cost $5 per person for admission.  FSJ has a dearth of things to do, so we decided to check it out.  The event had some timing issues.  It started half an hour late and things sort of plodded along from there.  However, they did do a little demonstration at the beginning of the event to explain the basics to the crowd.  This turned out to be very helpful.  Without a primer, it would just have been a bunch of less than ladylike women roller skating around a duct tape track pushing each other and falling down.  Well, actually it was still like that, but at least we knew there were rules and somebody sounded like they knew them.

Roller derby is funny.  It is even funnier when the women doing it can hardly skate.  It gets even funnier than that as they get tired and fall down because it looks like someone is going to run into them.  The first match was full of people that were in various stages of learning to roller skate.  They ran into team mates, opponents, and the floor with disturbing regularity. I must admit that I was laughing at these "ladies" and not really with them.  We watched the whole first match which took a really long time.

When we watched the first couple of jams in the second match we realized that the first match was made up of the advanced class.  The second match was the remedial group.  There were a lot of wobbly skaters and a lot of falling down.  There were also a lot of very large women in very small spandex panties, called Sweetcheeks.  True story, they are called sweet cheeks.  There were many a sweetcheek that was peeking out at the world.  I wish I could unsee some of the things I saw in that second match, but alas, it is physically impossible.  I will have to hope that the wounds in my psyche will heal over given enough time.