Sunday, November 13, 2011

Goodbye Dignity, Hello Movember

I've decided to participate in Movember this year.  If you hadn't heard, Movember is a worldwide event where men grow mustaches during the month of November in order to raise money for and awareness of prostate cancer.  I decided on the Fu Man Chu style.  I figured that if I was going to look like a dork I was going to look like a huge dork.  It turns out that I look like a dork that would like to be in porn movies.  Jen has trouble talking to me without laughing sometimes.  All of this to protect men's poopers.

Friday, November 11, 2011

The Rapture


About a month ago I scratched an itch that had been bothering me for a while.  I had finally saved up enough money to get myself a new TV.  That's right, I joined the flat screen revolution about a decade late.  But, better late than never.  It was an exciting day when I finally took the plunge and emptied my personal savings account.  Most of 3 months of working a second job went into that TV and it h as been worth every penny.  I chose a 46" Samsung LCD and haven't regretted it.

There were some bumps along the way of course.  There was the hour or so it took for me to figure out that the HD channels were up in the stratosphere of my PVR.  I couldn't figure out why my picture was so small.  When you turn the channel on the receiver it says both SD and HD are ok, so I thought they must come in on the same feed.  Yeah, I know that was pretty dumb, but I eventually recovered.

I still have a 27" tube television sitting in my basement.  I would really like to make that go away.


I have subscribed to the Center Ice package and have been loving all of the HD hockey I've been watching.  Of course, I don't always like what I'm seeing on the ice and I have to make my displeasure known to the players and the universe as a whole.  I can hear my wife laughing upstairs.  That really wrecks the effect.

The downside of having a great TV is wanting to watch said TV more often.  I have been watching the TV too much.  I have a fever and the only cure is more TV.


Thursday, October 27, 2011

Super Secret Lady Place

I've described in an earlier post some of my hair raising experiences in the washrooms of Mark's.  Suffice it to say there have been a few aftershocks while cleaning those spaces since.  One is of note, however.

I discovered a spot in the employee washroom that I had never noticed before.  I never noticed this spot, because I hadn't taken a seat on the toilet until that time.  Let me explain.  I do my best to avoid doing my business in public places.  The reason is simply that other people's behinds have been on that toilet.  Now I don't know where those arses have been or what they've been doing when they were there.  So, I try not to have my butt share surface area with other butt's.  Anyway, it couldn't be avoided this time and as I sat contemplating life's little intricacies, I looked to my left and noticed a chrome panel on the wall.  In this chrome panel was a little flap.  Foolish me.  Behind that chrome panel was the Super Secret Lady Place.  This is the place that ladies put their super secret presents.  And it was full.  And I had to clean the bathroom that night.  After a quick gut check I decided that my employer did not compensate me properly to such work, so it would remain undone.  I had found the line that I would not cross.

Just as a note, a couple of weeks later, the Super Secret Lady Place remains uncleaned.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

And So It Begins

We had our first snowfall of the season the other day.  For Northern BC, it was not too early in the year, so we shouldn't really complain.  However, it brings the harsh reality that winter is coming into sharp relief.  I realise that I have to get my leaves raked and the Christmas lights up.  Yes, you have to put up your Christmas lights up by the end of October because you may suffer frostbite and/or have to shovel snow to put your ladder out.
 
Another side effect of having our first snow is the sudden realization by the general public that winter is coming and they have done nothing to get ready for it.  Jen has had a run on winter tires at Canadian Tire and we have been seeing a load of long johns and other winter gear selling at Mark's.  It is amazing that people that live in a place where winter lasts for the better part of 6 months don't see it coming.  Of course, it could be a summer and autumn full of denial that you live within spitting distance of the arctic finally comes crashing down when the snow finally flies.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

What is Google?

Just a bit of 7 year old wisdom.  I was introducing my class to Google in the computer lab a while back and I asked if anyone had heard the word Google before.  About half of the class said they had heard the word before.  When I asked who knew what Google meant a little boy put up his hand and told me that it was when you were in class and you were looking all over the room at everything and not paying attention to what you supposed to be doing.  There you have it.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

You want me to do WHAT for a dollar?!?

I may have mentioned in an earlier post, that when I was hired at Mark's, I was made a keyholder.  That means that I have to be Shift Leader often times.  This means that I am responsible for counting the tills at the end of the evening and making sure that all of the new teenagers we've hired do their job.  Another unfortunate part of being Shift Leader, is the cleaning.  In particular, cleaning the bathrooms.  For all of this responsibility I am rewarded with the princely sum of an additional $1.00 per hour.

My duties as Shift Leader have not been an issue...until last night.  That was when someone decided to car bomb the customer washroom.  It was a full on fecal attack.  Not only did this person leave ample evidence of their crime in the toilet, they made cleaning of the scene difficult by plugging the toilet with their offence.  I tried to unplug the toilet with the plunger, only to find that the plunger was defective.  The damn thing would only push down and not come back up.  I decided at this time that the situation had exceeded my pay grade and abandoned the effort.

Oh Yeah...

Jen was asking me earlier in the week, why I didn't subscribe to the NFL Sunday Ticket any more.  I had subscribed for a couple of years before letting it slide last year.  When she asked, I reminded her that it cost of $200 for the season.  Until today, I forgot the real reason.

During the week I found out that Cleveland would be televised on CTV.  That is good news, as I'm a Browns fan and I haven't seen them play in over a year.  When the game started, the excitement left and that familiar sinking feeling returned.  It quickly came back, why I decided to save my $200 for a better cause, like flushing it down the toilet.  Now I remember how soul destroying watching the complete incompetency of my chosen football team was.  Seeing week after week, the poor play and poorer choices of the coaching staff was a rude awakening.  I am a much less grumpy person on Sundays when I don't have to witness the dismanteling of my chosen (poorly) team.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

A Nice Surprise

I came home today to a nice surprise.  No, it wasn't that my wife was feeling better after a few days sick, but that was nice.  No, it wasn't that my wife made baked beans and wings for supper, but that was nice.  No, it wasn't that my wife had done the laundry which is my usual Sunday job during football, but that was very nice.  I came home to a brand new HD PVR and an upgraded dish courtesy of Bell.  I had forgotten that they gave Jen a call and told her they would be coming over to give us these upgrades as a "customer retention bonus".  After 3 years I own the equipment.  It is interesting that this happened just as we were seriously considering moving to Telus satellite TV largely because they gave us the equipment for free.  Now I don't have the hassle of going through the change of dish and providers.  I can stick with Bell, whom I've been very happy with for the past 3 years.

Now I only have to work on getting that HDTV.  But that is in the works.

Friday, September 23, 2011

If It's Not One Thing It's Another

I'm starting to think being busy is like a perpetual motion machine.  The business feeds upon itself to create more business.  Jen and I have been busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest, since the start of school.  We have had a busier social calendar than we've ever had since we've been together.  Add the stresses and the inherent workload in school start up and we don't know which way to turn.  I'm also aware that working a second job is not helping matters.

If it were only the work and social life that kept us from sitting down for a few minutes at a time, maybe I could handle it.  However, there seems to be a never ending parade of meetings, appointments and minor emergencies that drag us out of school too early to get anything done.

I'm going to stop whining now with the hope that our calendar being empty next week (for now) may lead to some rest and relaxation (as I head off to a house warming party).

Monday, September 12, 2011

The Man Cave

The Man Cave is nearing completion.  It is in use now, but I'm still looking for a shelf or two for the wall.  I have a few McFarlane hockey figures to put on the shelves.  I also have a couple of pictures to get framed and hang as well.  However, I'm very happy with the results.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

My Head is Spinning

Well, I have the first week of school under my belt.  It turns out that the straight Grade 1 class that I had hoped for all summer disappeared like so much smoke in the Fort St. John wind.  It turns out that I will be teaching another Grade 1 and 2 split, albeit with a better split between grades.  Unfortunately, we only found out what our classes would be on Thursday, so there hasn't been much time to adjust my thinking and do any planning.

It has been a busy week outside of school as well.  I worked at Mark's on Thursday evening and all day Saturday.  It makes for a short week, but when I have that new TV, it will all be worthwhile.  We also had appointments in town and Jen's birthday this weekend.  I think this week will see a lot of extra school work as well.

I'll try and find time to blog on a more regular basis as well.  The biggest problem was that there was really nothing to report.  The only thing worse than having nothing to talk about, is talking about nothing.  So, I try to keep my posts to saying something that at least I think is useful.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Vacation is Over

Well, I see that I haven't posted in, well forever.  I was trying to get as much done around the house and I was working almost until the end of summer vacation.  Now I'm back at school waiting to find out what grades I'll be teaching this year.  At our school and from what I hear, most of the district spends the first few days of school dithering until we know our numbers for sure and the bean counters at the district can tell us how many classes we are allowed to have.  So, until our "community building" project is done tomorrow, I won't know whether I'm teaching only Grade 1 or Kindergarten and Grade 1.  Until I know that, I really can't get very far in my planning and I just have to sit on my hands and wait.

Oh, and I get to work at Mark's tomorrow.  We'll see how this two job thing plays out.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

What I Learned Today

Another eight hour shift at the clothing store today.  I learned a whole bunch more stuff.  Here are the highlights.

I learned how to dress manikins today.  They were only torsos, but it was still interesting.  I had to follow the guide the company put out as best  I could, even though we didn't have most of the clothes that were supposed to go on them.  Manikins are heavy.  Well, actually the metal bases are really heavy and they want to fall off the bottom while you are carrying the manikin down a very tall ladder.

Old men are strange.  I helped an old dude today find some briefs.  That should have been easy, but the ones I gave him had grey and black briefs in the package.  The geezer shook his head and put them back, informing me that he could only wear grey undies.  I spent 10 minutes rifling through our stock of gitchers to find a package of grey ones so they odd duck would have the correct colour.  I wonder if he was planning on wearing them on the outside?  Oh, I nearly forgot that the reason he was getting new undies, was that his wife is in Ontario visiting their daughter and with their recent move he couldn't find more underwear in the house, so he decided to come buy some to get him through.

Finally, I learned that responsibility sucks.  When I was hired, the manager let me know that she had given me a position where I would be a keyholder and be able to close and open the shop.  Apparently, it would make my shifts longer.  Well,  I guess she forgot to tell me that with a key (which I haven't even caught a glimpse of yet), comes a 27 step process for closing.  There are so many steps to cashing out the register and writing down the amount of money in at least three different places, that I just want to stick all of the money in a shopping bag and stuff it in the safe for the next person to deal with.  I don't think the manager got the memo that I really don't need this job and that the whole point was that I can have an easy and carefree way to earn some extra cash.  Responsibility is not what I do during the summer.

A Must See

You should spend the few minutes it takes to view these three very slick, very interesting 1 minute videos: Move, Learn and Eat.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Stopping and Smelling the Roses

I went for a bike ride the other day and decided to take the camera with me.  I am normally a person that exercises with a purpose.  I want to ride a certain distance, run a certain amount of time, etc.  This time I decided to look at my surroundings while I rode instead of just the path in front of me for obstacles.  I hopped off my bike several times just to take some pics that I thought might look good.  I still got a decent workout, and I enjoyed my time out quite a bit.  I think I might have to bring the camera on my rides every once in a while from now on.







Saturday, August 6, 2011

House Man No Longer

I started my summer job this past week.  I am now an employee of Mark's Work Wearhouse, purveyor of women's and men's fine clothing.  When I first applied for the job, I was told that it would be two or three shifts per week and around 15 hours.  This past week I worked 18 hours, but I was training.  Next week I'll be working 28 hours with a few hours of elearning to squeeze in as well.  I'm not complaining.  I just wonder if I'll get as much done around the house in the second month of summer as I did in the first.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, Jen and I decided to work so that we could have some money for ourselves without raiding the household account.  With things always going wrong with the house and a possible work stoppage this year, we want to have a nest egg to fall back on should the need arise.  I found that if I waited to be able to afford all of the things I wanted, those things would be obsolete by the time I could.  Action had to be taken.  My first two purchasing priorities are a flat screen TV and an upgrade to Windows 7 for my PC.
The TV is a big ticket item, so will probably take some time to accomplish.  I'm just want to come out of the cave and join the rest of modern society.

A big bonus of the new job is the 40% discount I get on clothes.  I will be needing new clothes for work this winter, and you can't beat getting them for almost half price.  Jen also gets a discount of 20% on anything she buys.  That's a pretty sweet deal.

I'll keep everyone updated on how the new job is going as the weeks progress.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Early Adopters

I have never been an early adopter of anything.  Those that know me, understand that I take a cautious approach to change.  I need to see how it will work out and how it will fit into my life and world view.  I change slowly.  Unfortunately, technology does not give us the opportunity to go as slowly as some of us old codgers would like.

For example, up until a year ago, I had no use for either Twitter or blogging.  I thought Twitter was a place where a bunch of self important people tweeted about where they were having lunch or how large their bowel movements were.  I thought that blogging was for self-indulgent people told the world about the minutia of their lives and figured the world deserved to know.  Luckily, some people showed me how both of these tools could be used with a purpose.  I stated using Twitter for professional development and now also use it to connect and meet new people in my hobby as well.  I started a personal blog in order to understand it so I could use it for my classroom and students.  Now I keep this blog (as you know), a classroom blog and a nerd blog.  I was clearly wrong about blogging and Twitter.

Now I'm trying to figure out Google+.  I am trying to adopt early!  This is a change for me.  It is also one of the few ways I can adopt early.  I have found that generally adopting technology early is expensive.  I would love to have a tablet, but don't have the money.  I find it hard to be as active as I would like on Twitter because I don't have a fancy phone.  I am still one of the 15% of North Americans that don't have a flat panel television.  Unless you have a job where you make more money than a teacher or your employer provides you with new technology as part of your job, you can't keep up.  My only option is to wait until the technology becomes cheaper or I can save up enough money to buy said new technology (and usually it's not new by then).

So, now that my mindset has changed somewhat on being more open minded towards new technology (and other things I hope), I only need my paycheque to change its mind about being bigger.
OK.  I just thought this was funny.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

The Kobo: Five Months Later

I realized the other day that I have had my Kobo for five months now.  Initially I was happy with my purchase, and I just  thought I'd pass on my thoughts on ereading several months later.

First, the price of the Kobo went down by $20 a month after I bought mine.  That was a bummer.  Then a month ago, the touch version of the Kobo came out. Another bummer.  However, one thing you learn with technology is that there is always something newer and better just around the corner.  If you always wait for that newer or better thing, you'll never have anything.

Second, Jen has recommended some books to me since I've had the Kobo and have read them.  They were both very large books, which brought into sharp relief how much I enjoy my little Kobo.  I am currently reading A Clash of Kings by George R.R. Martin and it is quite a large book.  But I can lie in bed and read it with one hand.  I can be sitting or laying in almost any position on the couch and still read my book comfortably.  I never have to worry about losing my page.  If I am going to be waiting for something or someone, I can stick my Kobo in my pocket (well most pockets) and take it along with me.

Third, I have several books waiting to be read and they are all in one place.  I haven't added a book to our overcrowded book shelf since I got the Kobo.

Fourth is a little bit of a downside.  Many of the books I read have maps at the beginning of the book.  During the story many place names are mentioned and it's helpful to flip back and check out where that place is exactly or how far the character has traveled.  On an ereader, that is not feasible.  It takes quite some time to get to the place you want to go, so you just have to study the map in the beginning and remember as best you can.  If you are reading a popular book, there are sometimes copies of the map(s) online to look at.

Fifth, if you have just a short time to read, you can just flip open a book.  The Kobo needs to be fired up, unless you knew you were coming back shortly and just put it to sleep.  Powering up the Kobo and then loading the book you want to read probably only takes 2 minutes, but that seems like a long time when you just want something to do while you wife touches up her makeup before you leave the house.

Overall, I am extremely pleased with my Kobo.  It is inexpensive, small and handy.  I am sure there are better ereaders out there, but this one is at the right price point for me.  I would definitely recommend getting one if you have been toying with the idea.

Monday, July 25, 2011

A Dark and Hungry God

I thought I was going to get away with merely laying time and a small amount of money on the alter of the Dark and Hungry God (my house) this summer.  Alas, I was playing the fool.  This morning the appliance repair man came to look at our oven.  It appeared that our oven's thermostat was shot, so we were hoping that he would be able to replace it.  After looking at it and calling the parts people he broke the news that there were no parts in Canada at the moment and it would be three weeks before he could get one.  I thought that wasn't so bad, as we barbeque most of the time in the summer.  Then he announced that it would cost $200 for the part and another $45 for him to come back and install it.  This on top of the $95 he was charging us to look at the damned thing today! 

Now we are left with making the decision to drop over $300 on a 10 year old appliance or buy a new one and not have to worry about it.  We are leaning towards a new range.  I could almost see the flat screen TV I was planning on buying this year go up in smoke.  I guess I've waited this long, another year of television envy won't kill me.  Mame me maybe, but not kill.

By the way, if a friend ever tells you how great it is having a house and you should buy one to, you should punch them in the face.  I mean really hard.  That person is not your friend.  That person wants someone else to get the shaft too and then you can commiserate.  Just saying.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

A Kept Man

I've been experiencing a new sensation over the past couple of days.  I am home alone.  Jen got a job at Canadian Tire for the remainder of the summer.  I become the hired help.  My job is to do the housework and continue to check items off of the Honey Do list that we established at the beginning of the summer.

What I have noticed is the amount of pressure I put on myself to accomplish a lot during the day.  I know as long as there is something for Jen to eat, or at least a plan to get there, she'll be happy.  But, it's almost like I feel if she is working, I have to have something to show for my day as well.  When we were both lazing about for the summer, it didn't bother me if on a rainy day, I just read and painted minis or played video games.  Now I feel like I'm wasting time.  I wonder if housewives (sorry, we like to be called domestic engineers), feel the same way.  I've never thought to ask before.

Before you all go and think that I've thrown my wife to the wolves, you should know that I also got a job, but could only nab a part-timer.  I have to wait until after the long weekend for the manager to come back until I can start my job.  So, I'll still be working on the Honey Do list, but I'll be working for money too.

Monday, July 18, 2011

It's Back!

The mini-hoe has made a return to Dude's house.  They had a couple more basement floods, since Dude dug up the yard so he wouldn't have to move his truck anymore.  Maybe something is going to happen with the foundation this time.

Film at eleven!

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Blah

I noted that it's been seven days since my last post.  I really meant to post earlier in the week.  I was rocking around this house and then the rain came and I've been blah since then.

On Monday, I resolved to change the exhaust fan in the bathroom.  In the winter we discovered that the fan had been installed backwards, with the wrong type of ducting, with gaps around the box allowing excess moisture to flow into the attic and with no insulation covering it.  So, I was going to pretend I was handy for the day and fix all this stuff up.  What a cock-up that turned out to be.

  Whichever IQ 8 person that installed the fan used plastic dryer hose to hook up the fan to the outside world.  Trying to get that off was not fun as it stretches A LOT before it comes off.  I found myself laying in the fibreglass insulation stretched to my maximum trying to reach the end of the ducting with my fingertips to no avail.  This necessitated taking down the ladder (we only have one) and moving it outside and setting it back up again and trying pull the vent and it's attached hose outside.  Now, when I say I had to take down the ladder, I mean I had to collapse it.  We have one of those ladders that can be a full length ladder or a step ladder.  So, I had to collapse the legs of the ladder down, fold it up, manouver around the corners in the house and take it out back and extend it again and set it up against the house.  I did this three or four times during the course of the day.

Did I mention, that the sun came out that day for the first time in a week and it was hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut in that attic?  I was sweating so much when I was trying to remove the box for the fan that I couldn't see properly for the sweat in my eyes.  Did I also mention that the box was not set up on the joist, but was moved out with some poorly matched pieces of wood?  So, I had to take the box off, then move one of the pieces of wood to the other side so, the fan would still be in the same hole, then screw the wood on and the box.  Of course the drill wouldn't fit in the small space left between the wood and the joist, so I had to screw them both in by hand.  My hand was so slippery with sweat that I had trouble turning the screwdriver.  All of this by flashlight.

It turns out that a job that should have taken an hour took most of the day.  During this episode, I very nearly took a match to the house to make the solution easier.  I also cursed every one of the incompetent hacks that has worked on this house over the years to an excrutiating eternity in Hell.  I've been recovering my sanity ever since.

I should also mention that we've had about five hours of sunshine since that day. It has been rainy, grey and cool nearly everyday.  This is why I'm blah.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

My Wife's Idea of Fun

I need to preface this post with the fact that when my wife says something is fun, she is silently adding "for me", on to the end of it.  Fun for Jen is fun for everyone or so she thinks.

This afternoon we met Bryce and Michelle at Whole Wheat and Honey for lunch.  We had a great chat and a delicious lunch.  I was extra excited because for once I wasn't hungry after I had finished my $10 lunch.  But I digress.

After lunch we all went down to look around a local furniture store.  We are in the market for a new table and chairs, as our Wal-Mart set has given all it can give us after four years.  Bryce and Michelle are looking to replace the furniture that went swimming with the poops when the sewer backed up in their basement.  This was considered "fun" for Jen and because of the company, it was not "unfun".

After we left Bryce and Michelle, we went to have more "fun".  We looked at more kitchen tables that we didn't like.  Then the "fun" hit a frantic pitch as we went to the thrift stores.  Now, I don't know about you folks, but sifting through layers of other peoples crap does not fit into my definition of fun.  If I could ever find something that I like or wanted at one of these places, I may change my tune.  Thrift stores are glorified garbage dumps, missing only the rats and seagulls to make them real dumps.  And what is with that smell?  As soon as you walk into a thrift store your nose if assaulted by an odor that is somewhere between someone's soiled underpants, unwashed feet and grandma's basement.  So, I hold my breath knowing that the whole while, all of the unclean particles are going unfiltered into my lungs.  We went to three thrift stores and they were all "fun".
Nanna wants to know where her stuff went.

Finally, my Saturday afternoon ended with a visit to the local scrapbooking store.  You've never had "fun" until you've spent a block of time touching ribbons, sifting through piles of paper and checking out the newest stamps.

Now I am home and I don't know what to do now that I'm not having so much "fun".

Monday, July 4, 2011

Nosy Neighbour Update

Special delivery for Chuck and Mike, here is the nosy neighbour update.  As of the last post, Dude had finished digging the big hole in his lawn.  Yesterday he proceeded to fill the hole with the gravel sitting on the lawn.  Due to dude's lack of skill with the mini-hoe, he had to dump a couple of buckets of gravel in the hole and then jump out and rake it out.  He must have got tired of this because he tried to use the small blade on the front of the mini-hoe.  It was a good idea in principle, but poorly executed.  Dude ended up pushing WAY too much gravel to the end of the hole and then had to back up using the bucket to try and drag it back.  This process took most of the day.


After finally filling the hole, Dude figured he had this heavy piece of machinery, he should use it to pack down the gravel.  Anyone who has seen a tracked vehicle move will see the problem with this plan.  He could go straight up and down the hole and do a great job, but when he turned a bit at the end to drive on the parts he missed, the tracks just dug up a bunch of the gravel he had packed down. 

Finally, a dump truck came and Dude loaded the dirt into it.  Well, he loaded the first truck load.  On the second load, he had to run into the house for something and the truck driver hopped into the mini-hoe.  The truck driver had obviously been operating hoes for longer than 6 days and he filled the truck in half the time it would have taken Dude.  Dude came back out and looked on dejectedly while his fun was taken away.

Today, Dude was wearing the sad face as Peace Country Rentals came to pick up his toy.  He got one bit of fun as he drove the mini-hoe over his lawn again to pick up the second bucket.  Then the rental guy kicked Dude out and he ran into the house to lay weeping on his bed (this last part it pure conjecture).

I don't know what Dude payed to rent the mini-hoe for a week, but I'm sure someone who knew what they were doing could have done the job in less than two days and for less money and made less of a mess of Dude's property. 

Saturday, July 2, 2011

The Theatre of Life

Let me explain how this all began.  The neighbour across the street had a small backhoe delivered to his driveway 5 days ago.  We all wondered what they were going to do with it.  Their basement had flooded in the monsoon of the week before, so we thought maybe it was for some foundation repairs.



The next day, Jen and I came back from work to find my father and brother in-law sitting on the couch with coffees in their hands and watching the dude across the road play around on his new toy.  I the first three days he managed to break up the asphalt on half of his driveway and put it in a dumpster.  The next day he managed to dig up part of his lawn.  Now on day 5 he continues to dig up his lawn.  Along the way, he has also managed to destroy part of his eve troughs and take some major chunks out of the concrete retaining wall along his driveway.  When cleaning up the loose asphalt this guy would move the chunks away from his neighbour's fence by hand and then get back into the hoe and use it to pick it up and move it back to the dumpster. 

My guess is that my neighbour is expanding his driveway, but only time will tell.  Today the guy would dig a bucket of dirt and run the backhoe along the edge of the hole so he could put the dirt in the pile because his pile of gravel was in the way.  This fella is clearly not a hoe operator.

I have promised my in-laws to keep them up to date on this drama across the way.  So, here it is.

Well, That Was Unexpected

My in-laws have returned to Vancouver Island and the school year has finally finished.  Life should return to a bit slower pace now.

As everyone knows, we bought our first house nearly one year ago.  The dark god that is my house requires regular sacrifices of money and time.  In order to satiate the god's hunger, Jen and I have decided to get jobs this summer.  That's right, no lazy days of summer this year.  My plan was to go out and get a job as a labourer.  I want a job with as little brain power required as possible and that I can leave behind at the end of the day.  I got a pretty big shock when I began my search and quickly realized that I was underqualified to a labourer in this town.  I have three university degrees and none of them give me the qualifications I need to lift a shovel, move some pipe or get the coffee for anyone in this town.  It turns out that there is a litany of oil field tickets that one needs to possess in order to work for nearly all of the companies in this town.  I have exactly zero of these.  I also have exactly zero desire to spend the money and the time to get them.  I guess it's back to the drawing board.

Monday, June 27, 2011

We were all LARPers at one time in our lives

I was watching some of the kids in my class play the other day.  They were playing some horse game.  Some of the kids were crawling around on the ground and were pretending to be horses.  Other kids were chasing them around and pretending to lasso them and break them.  It was very complex and really funny to watch.  I've seen the children on the playground playing the same type of game based on puppies, zombies and other various subjects.

Watching these kids play these games made me think of LARP.  LARP is Live Action Role Playing.  I learned about LARP while watching the movie Role Models a few years back.  I have to tell you that seeing people pretend to be wizards and knights and pretending to fight each other was pretty hilarious.  It was also pathetic.  I just couldn't believe that anyone could be so lame.  However, watching the children play and how they were so immersed in their roles and using their imaginations, changed my mind a bit (just a bit).  I wonder what happens to that great imagination we all had when we were kids?  Do we lose it?  Does it get submerged under adult concerns and responsibilities?  Maybe LARPers have rediscovered that childhood ability or never lost it.

It gives you something to think about.  Bottom line is they are still pretty lame.  Maybe just not as lame as before.

 Next post will be about the nerd hierarchy. ;)

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the White Board

Overheard in the classroom this week.

A little boy asks the little girl across from him if she will be his friend.  She pauses and very seriously says "I don't know.  I'll have to check with my lawyer."

A little boy tells another about dirty hobos.  The first boy asks what a hobo is.  Apparently a hobo is a guy without a home, who lives at the dump, eats garbage and has ratty clothes.  Beware the dirty hobo.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Those Lying Bastards

I would just like to tell you about the absolute hosing I got this weekend.  I owed my wife a movie because I drug her to see Sucker Punch.  I would have owed her more than that, but the fact that I had to sit through Sucker Punch too, was punishment enough.  So, while we were in Grande Prairie this past weekend, we went to see Brides Maids.  Jen wanted to see the movie and the trailers made it look like it was kind of The Hangover for women.  I could get down with that.

Let me tell you that the advertising campaign for Brides Maids is the worst kind of false advertising.  First, all of the funny parts are in the trailer.  If you've seen the trailers, don't pay the money to see the movie because you've seen the best parts.  Second, the trailers certainly don't lead you to the conclusion that this movie is about a 30 something woman whose life is in a death spiral throughout the movie while she attempts to keep it together while her best friend gets married.  Most of the movie is quite a downer.  I'll put it this way, I looked at my watch a lot during this movie.

Guys, don't go see this movie unless you have screwed up and owe your woman one like I did or there is guaranteed sex if you go.

Field Trip Follies

This past Wednesday, Jen and I took both of our classes on a year end field trip to town.  We had been told much earlier in the year that there was not going to be money this year for field trips, so we put it out of our minds.  Then everyone started planning field trips.  With the plans came a carnival like atmosphere of junk food sales at lunch and recess.  Classes were selling freezes, ice cream, pizza, popcorn, cookies and almost every other kind of crap you can think of.  I decided I wasn't going to make like a used car salesman to get my kids to town.  However, at the 11th hour, the PAC came through with some busing money and we were forced to admit that we would look like a couple of ogres if we didn't take the kids to town.

Luckily for me, my wife is a super organizer and planned the whole day for both our classes.  She did a great job.  We were going to the North Peace Credit Union, then walking to the RCMP station.  For lunch we would have a picnic in our back yard because we live so close to the police station.  Then in the afternoon, we would go to the public library for a tour and some programming they had a available.  The plan was perfect...until it started to rain.

Let's be clear.  It didn't just rain while we were in town.  It was a bloody monsoon.  It rained all day.  At times, it rained so hard it hurt to be out of doors.  Luckily, my class missed the worst of the downpours during our walk between venues.  When it was time to go for lunch, it was absolutely pouring, so we were lucky enough to catch the bus back to our house.  When we pulled up out front, Jen's kids were already there.  It looked like we were pulling up to the monkey house in the zoo.  There were kids piled up with their faces plastered to the picture window.  They were climbing over each other to get a peek.

When I entered the house, the first thing I noticed was the smell.  It smelled like wet dogs and stinky feet.  It turns out the Jen's class had been hiking home when the downpour started.  They were in no man's land and had to tough it out the rest of the way.  Everyone was soaked to the bone.  Jen's class was eating upstairs and I took my kids to the basement to eat.  We had 40 kids in our 1800 sq. ft. house.  It was tight, especially when the kids finished eating and got a little wild. We were fortunate enough to have the bus driver offer to take us to the library after lunch because it was still pouring.

I must tell you, that I was pretty ragged by the time that day was done.  I have to thank the officers at the police station and Sheryl at the credit union for great tours.  The kids had great a great time and talked about it for the rest of the week.

How To Get Fired

I think if I read this story to my kids, I would get fired.  It would be funny though.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

One is the Loneliest Number






One is the loneliest number.  That is how you feel when you are a male primary teacher.  When I taught in Prespatou, I was the only male teacher in the elementary end of the school.  Now that I'm at a new school there are several other male teachers, but there are none that are even within spitting distance of the primary grades.

When I go to a professional development seminar, it is very likely that the participants will include myself and a room full of women.  When you are in a staff room, it is you and a bunch of women.  Now, most men would think that was a great thing.  And normally you would be right.  You know, if it was a bar or the Playboy mansion.  However, the room is usually full of nice, middle aged women that generally are bunch of mother hens.  Not terribly erotic.

The other downer, is that discussions tend to focus on topics that are of interest to women.  Mostly children, followed closely by gardening and American Idol/Dancing with the Stars/etc.  Yawn.  If you are at an education seminar or workshop, all of the answers and activities are touchy feely.  Let's get to know each other by telling someone about a time when you really needed a hug.  Blagh!  When a topic is discussed and everyone wants the answer to by flowers and unicorns, as the dude, you feel like a major league ass when your answer is a little more factual and involves kids toughening up.

In all seriousness however, being a male primary (or even elementary) teacher can be extremely isolating.  I don't look forward to going to my workplace for social connections.  I look forward to the connections with the  kids.  I have to find my social connections elsewhere in the community, which is hard when you spend most of your time at your job.

One is the loneliest number.  And I'm number one.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Sunny Days (and Nights)


Well, it's that time of year again, when your body never really knows what time it is.  When the sun comes up at just after 4 am and goes down just shy of 10 pm you tend to lose track of time.  It is nothing to be reading, on the computer  and or working around the house and look up and be shocked that it is 9:30 when you were sure it was closer to 6:30.  It is also shocking when you get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and the sun is jabbing painfully into your retinas.

I noticed the other day that none of the ball diamonds in town have lights.  It took me a few minutes to realize that nobody plays baseball past 10:30 at night when it actually gets dark.  It takes a long time to get used to the extended daylight hours, but it sure is wonderful to have the extra time to do whatever it is you like to do.  Especially if you like doing it outdoors.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

False Patriotism

I have not kept my distaste for the Vancouver Canucks a secret.  In response to my attitude I have caught a lot of flak for being unpatriotic for not cheering for the Canucks.  Quite simply, what a load of crap.  We are not talking about the Canadian national team which I ALWAYS cheer for.  We are talking about a commercial interest that is based in Canada.  I don't happen to support this particular business.

Following the logic of these "patriots" everyone that is Canadian should always choose a product produced in Canada or sold by a Canadian company over any foreign competitor.  Let me tell you that fellow Canadians are usually swiping away at their iPhones while they are chastising me.  Never once thinking about where the iPhone is made or where their money goes (to America).  Why don't these people have Blackberries if they are such patriots?  I also know that these people go to Wal-Mart and Home Depot.  If they were really patriotic they would shop at Zellers (while they can) and Rona.

Maybe the truth of it is that people like being patriotic when it's easy and convenient.  They also like being able to look down on others even if they are artificially elevated.  And of course, everyone loves a ride on the bandwagon.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Wild Weather

Last Thursday, I was happily enjoying summer.  The temperature had been in the low 20's for several days running with nary a cloud to be seen.  I had broken out the shorts and t-shirts and was not anticipating looking back.  Then Thursday evening a few thunderstorms bearing hail flowed through.  The temperature dipped a bit that evening.  On Friday I woke up to Christmas, not summer.

Yes, it's that's snow on the ground.

It had was snowing right along at 6:30 when I got up.  The weather man said rain and cold, but this was ridiculous.  I should have know though, when the furnace came on a few times in the night.  The furnace hadn't even been turned on in a week.

It proceeded to snow for the entire day without let up.  There wasn't a huge amount of snow on the ground, but there was some accumulation.  Snow on the ground in June.  Now I've seen it all.  In the three plus years we have lived up here, we have seen snow in every month but July and August.  Long time residents tell us that they have seen snow in every month of the year.  I must sincerely express my desire to never see that.

That's our deck at 4 pm.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

So, Now I Play Baseball

It seems that I've joined a slow pitch team.  I must admit that baseball is not my favourite sport on the planet, but sitting on my ass all summer is a much worse one.  It turns out my team is made up mostly of teachers.  Well, at least I'll be hanging out with different teachers than the ones I see every day.

I've played in two games and it's been fun, even though I am pretty rusty and kind of stinking up the joint.  Regardless, I have met some new people from town and I have another thing to keep me from becoming the weird old hermit that spends all of his time in his basement with little toy soldiers.

Oh, did I mention there's beer?

Comments

Just a note to anyone who may actually visit this little corner of the internet that I claim as my own.  There is a section for comments.  If you read or see anything that interests you, pleas leave a comment.  Blogs are meant to be interactive and I'd really like to hear from anyone who likes or dislikes what I'm doing.

Kids Say the Strangest Things

This is a page from one of my student's journals.  Just in case you are not fluent in phonetic spelling, here's the translation:

I went to dirt biking in the bush and I ran over a squirrel and I ate it for dinner and my dad shot five more and ate the five more.

I couldn't stop laughing when I read this.  I asked him if it was a true story and he told me that it happened the other day.  I especially like the picture of him on the dirt bike heading for the squirrel.

Let's face it.  My job is fun.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Hockey Deprived

I've been feeling a little hockey deprived lately.

I'm not playing hockey right now as the season is over and none of the arenas in my area seem to keep ice in over the summer for a little summer pickup. This makes me a little sad, but is usually offset by the fact that I can go outside and ride my bike, walk, etc.  However, we've had a lot of rain (especially for our semi-arid climate) lately and that really hasn't happened.

As everyone who knows me will be aware, a little bit of me died when the Blackhawks were eliminated in the first round of the playoffs.  A large piece died because it was the Canucks.  However, I had many years of practice watching the NHL Playoffs without my team.  This year though, I have watched less hockey in the playoffs than any time since I returned from Korea six years ago.  The problems are twofold.  First, the Eastern Conference games are on at 4:30 in the afternoon.  By the time I get home from work, I don't have any time to do any of the things that need to get done if I sit down and watch hockey for three plus hours.  Also, these games always seem to take place at a time when I have to be elsewhere or doing something else.  A grand conspiracy I think.

The second problem is that the Canucks are still in the playoffs.  I have tried watching the Canucks games that are on at a more reasonable hour.  Unfortunately, I hate the Canucks at a subatomic level.  Every fibre of my being rebels against watching those things prance around the ice.  Second, the Canucks are maybe the most boring hockey team to watch since the New Jersey Devils of the 90's.  All the Canucks need is a one goal lead to make hockey more boring than golf.  They load up the neutral zone with all five players and dare the other team to get past centre ice.  The Canucks have put hockey back 20 years and the worst part is they may actually with with this formula.  They had only 14 shots in the entire game yesterday.  Seriously.

Wow.  I wish I liked watching baseball.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Zombie Tag

It appears that the kids in my class have been playing a game called Zombie Tag.  Today, I happened to come across them playing and asked what the rules were.  One student starts off as the zombie and chases the other kids around trying to "eat them".  After the zombie has eaten you, you are a zombie too and you chase around kids to eat them.  The winner of the game is the last non-zombie kid standing. 

I have to admit that this sounds like a pretty fun game and it's pretty clever for some 7 and 8 year olds to come up with on their own.

After explaining the rules, one of the little fellows leans in to tell me very seriously that if you want to kill a zombie, it's better to use a bow or crossbow than a gun.  I asked why that was and was told that a gun makes too much noise and would make other zombies come.  This is an interesting theory and reminds me of the zombies in World War Z

As an aside, if you like well written fiction that is as creepy as all get out, you should read World War Z.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

I'm A Bad Man

I'm going to hell for laughing so hard at this drunk woman.  I guarantee that I'll have lots of company though.

Bears and Moose Poop

Ever since I started blogging last summer, I have regretted not starting sooner.  When we first moved up here, there were a lot of things that we saw and that happened to us that were completely crazy.  After almost four years though, we have normalized most of the things that we once thought were wacky.  Imagine my excitement yesterday when I experienced a pair of firsts.

I had taken my students outside for gym before lunch.  We ended up at the farthest corner of the school yard.  We were going about our business when I saw a pair of grade 8 students booking it to where we were.  When they finally got there, I asked what was going on.  They told me that the principal wanted us to go inside because a bear had been spotted just up the road.  I looked at my kids and all I could see was 20 little bear treats.  So, I hollered at them to get in line because we were going inside.  Well, they all had to argue.  "I thought you said we had 10 more minutes?"  "Why do we have to go inside?"  "I don't want to go inside."  I told them I'd explain as soon as we were back in class.

We busted it back to the school and I led them inside.  As I opened the door, I turned around and saw that most of my students were hot on my heals.  Of course there were the couple of girls at the back that were having a chat and looking at dandelions and generally lollygagging around.  I hollered at them to get a move on. 

When we were back in class, I told them about the bear.  A few were scared, but most just ran to the window and yelled "where is it?"

My other first was the moose in the front yard the other morning.  Actually, there were two moose and they were in the neighbours yard.  We later found out that they had been in our yard earlier and had eaten Jen's daffodils that were just about to bloom. 

Yep, that's moose pooh.
It turns out that they made a visit again yesterday and this time left a present.  There was a pretty big pile of poop just under our living room window.  It looked like a pile of Malteesers.  I had to shovel it up this morning and that is when it stopped being cool that we have moose in our yard.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Things Seen Cannot Be Unseen

Jen and I had a new experience last night.  We went to the Roller Derby.  That's right, there was a roller derby right here in the John.  The Energetic City Roller Derby Association put on the Rink Rash Bash.  This was their first event and our first roller derby, so we were all trying something new.

There were was a decent crowd there and it only cost $5 per person for admission.  FSJ has a dearth of things to do, so we decided to check it out.  The event had some timing issues.  It started half an hour late and things sort of plodded along from there.  However, they did do a little demonstration at the beginning of the event to explain the basics to the crowd.  This turned out to be very helpful.  Without a primer, it would just have been a bunch of less than ladylike women roller skating around a duct tape track pushing each other and falling down.  Well, actually it was still like that, but at least we knew there were rules and somebody sounded like they knew them.

Roller derby is funny.  It is even funnier when the women doing it can hardly skate.  It gets even funnier than that as they get tired and fall down because it looks like someone is going to run into them.  The first match was full of people that were in various stages of learning to roller skate.  They ran into team mates, opponents, and the floor with disturbing regularity. I must admit that I was laughing at these "ladies" and not really with them.  We watched the whole first match which took a really long time.

When we watched the first couple of jams in the second match we realized that the first match was made up of the advanced class.  The second match was the remedial group.  There were a lot of wobbly skaters and a lot of falling down.  There were also a lot of very large women in very small spandex panties, called Sweetcheeks.  True story, they are called sweet cheeks.  There were many a sweetcheek that was peeking out at the world.  I wish I could unsee some of the things I saw in that second match, but alas, it is physically impossible.  I will have to hope that the wounds in my psyche will heal over given enough time.

Friday, May 6, 2011

People Are Stupid

"A person is smart, people are stupid." - Agent K, Men In Black

Agent K hit the nail on the head.  Recent history is full of examples that prove the veracity of Agent K's statement.

Exhibit A:  George Bush was elected President of the United States of America.

Exhibit B:  After four years of proving that he would qualify for the Special Olympics, George W. Bush       was re-elected as President of the United States of America.

Exhibit C:  The popularity of reality TV.  The only thing real about this genre is that it is really idiotic.

Exhibit D:  A man and his party that consistently dump on the cornerstones of Canadian democracy               through secrecy, lying and fear mongering are elected to a majority in the most recent federal  election.

I wish I could say that I was flabbergasted as I watched the election results pour in and it became quickly evident that the Conservatives would win a majority in the House of Commons.  I guess I just really had hoped that this time Agent K would be proven wrong and that Joe Lunchbucket would see through the miasma of half truths and misdirection that our Dear Leader spewed in place of ideas during the election.

But alas, old Joe was eager to lap up the boogie man of a non-existent conspiracy to form a "coalition", to believe that the bumbling government bureaucracy actually has any control over the economy, and to have selective amnesia regarding certain "irregularities" in information provided to parliament that led to a finding of contempt of parliament.

I must hand it to Harper, that the game was well played.  He knows that people are stupid.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Let 'Em Play

I write this as I watch one of the worst officiated hockey games I have ever seen.  Some "traditionalists" would say it was the best game they have seen.  Certainly, Don Cherry was crowing about it.  What is it about this game that some would love and I loath?  It is the situation where it is a seventh game or overtime and the referees "put away their whistles".

Those who love it think that you are letting the players decide the game.  No questionable penalty call or game full of power plays to spoil the action.  What I see is an opportunity for lesser players or players that have been cleanly beaten, to grab, hold, hook and slash their way back into the game.  The whole point of the new rules was to enable skill players to showcase those skills.  When penalties are not called, the point of the rules is lost. 

I just watched Mike Milbury say that a penalty is a penalty regardless of what game and at what point in the game the infraction happens.  Kelly Hrudey also pointed out that when you don't call anything it becomes river hockey.  This is my point exactly.  When the rules are not enforced, it cheapens the game.  I have been disappointed in this game because I wanted to watch professionals, not a bunch of pond hockey players mugging each other until the ref decides that he saw an infraction of the rules that he has not enforced the entire game.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Kookamunga Chocolate Day


Jen and I were talking about how fewer and fewer people get Easter Monday off and in many places south of the boarder, they don't even get Good Friday (although they get lots of other holidays).  This led to Jen asking if it was fair to still celebrate a religious holiday with a day off.

I think that Easter is like Christmas and has transcended the religious and moved into the secular.  For those of us that think religion is a load of bunk, there are lots of other reasons to celebrate Easter.  Easter is a time to spend time with family and friends.  Easter is a time to celebrate chocolate.  Let's face it, there are many reasons to celebrate chocolate.  It is only the world's finest food and outside of beer, human kinds' greatest creation (space station be damned).  Does anything compare to the divine feeling of that sweet ambrosia melting on your tongue?

I would be curious to find out how many people actually go to church to celebrate the gruesome murder of a man some 2000 years ago (seriously twisted).  The rest of us still enjoy Easter and take it for what it is.  They could change the name of the holiday to Kookamunga Chocolate Day and it would still be good holiday that everyone could partake of regardless of religion or background.